Not Part 4. Stop going Phew!

Ok people, it looks like something I started is going to end up as an epic that wont even make it to the Hall of Fame as the judges would sleep midway. This was not what I intended. I thought I would be done telling the story in one post (yeah rite!). But it goes on and on and on much to your dismay and my surprise. I seem to remember a lot for a person who doesn’t take notes. You must realize that each day was rich with memories that would normally fit in a month’s duration. Imagine I spent 30 days and I am just done with Day 3! I can’t seem to stop spilling all this clutter in my head. It’s good in a way; by writing this down in detail, I’ll stop torturing the people around me. I have to literally bite my tongue to stop relating episodes that happened in the past one month. Like when my colleague talks of Halloween, I have to bring up this story of this woman who bought pumpkins and decorated the office trailer so that we take care of her and her family by providing them housing soon. When my husband mentions something about brushing his teeth, I have already began telling him on how I found out that Americans I worked with brush their teeth after breakfast and not before.

I’m sure they are rolling their eyes and so are you. It was a big deal for me and I feel like sharing, but I cant expect everyone to be as excited. So I’ll continue with what I started (for my sake) in another blog (for your sake) before people start avoiding me and my blog (oh, not that Katrina stuff again!). Some of you could come by whenever you feel like and skim through the pictures and trust me I have got some astounding pictures. I was known as the tourist of the group. See, there I go again!

Visit Katrina logs whenever you have loads of time and nothing better to do and like getting depressed. I hope meanwhile Alpha continues her regular ranting here. I have to talk about this hairdresser who killed my hair last weekend!

Earthquake Relief Day

Desipundit says it's on the 26th of October. I don't know why there should be a day singled out for this, I think it should be on our minds every freaking day. But whatever works, I say. Spread the word in your blogs and help our friends in Pakistan and India recover in whatever way you can. Desipundit had a consolidated list of agencies that will use your donation for the cause.

Together we can outrun this sequence of natural diasters and get help to the victims at the right time without sinking into a backlog. Help now.

I'm back home... but what about them?

As I give one last look with my forehead pressed to the Plexiglas of the United Airlines window, I see the grayish waters below that claimed possession to land that was never meant to be in the first place. I also see bits and pieces of green land that was altered by humans just to get re-altered by nature. We cannot blame nature when we have been just as unpredictable and intervening. Building a home where there ought to be water by building a levee system, pumping water out of your man-made bathtub, adding a feet of dirt and hoping you are safe is not a great idea. Katrina thought us that.

I close the shutter, but can’t seem to shut my mind. I was standing in that green land just a few hours ago feeling happy that I’m finally going back home. Now that I am actually on my way home, I can’t help but feel a strange void. The fact that I am going to the privacy and comfort of my home while there are tens and thousands who are hoping to get back to theirs at least before Christmas. The fact that I spoke to so many of them and made promises that I could not keep makes me sick in the stomach. I will miss those hugs that say –‘Thank you for hearing me out.’ The folks I worked/interacted with were such awesome people that I got attached to in such a short period of time. I will miss them. This is not an experience I can forget in a long time to come, nor do I want to.

For the first time in a month, I am actually sitting down with nothing to do. I don’t think I can stand it any longer. Everything else around me trivializes its cause by just being there. Like my friends who desperately seek to buy a house and have criteria like ‘black granite counter tops in the kitchen and off-white carpet in the bedrooms and nothing less.’ I am in a trance and I will surely get back to being my old selfish self and everything in the world will have a purpose…even black granite counter tops.

Right now it’s odd not to see damaged buildings, fallen electric poles, sign boards ripped off, stores looted or people flocking at a Walmart at 4 am so that they can get supplies before they run out of it by noon. I keep holding myself back from calling up my team and finding out what’s going on down there. Did Debra get her trailer? Did Don Craft sign the lease? I can’t seem to get these people off my head.

Meanwhile, I must insist that I am OK, as Ok as I can be under circumstances. It’s indeed strange for a person like me to be bogged down, and I can fully understand people’s concern. As I was relating the things I saw and felt in New Orleans, one of my colleagues just happened to relay my thoughts to the upper management in a dinner meeting few days ago. And unknowingly he set me up with a corporate counselor!! Yikes!

‘Do you want to talk?’ said the guy.

‘Only if I can bring up my marital issues.’

No seriously, Pi has been enjoying himself for a whole month and it’s my fault. As soon as I landed in Chicago, he performed some mandatory husband duties. Got me a gift, hugged and kissed me… took me to dinner to friend’s house (strange, I know) and then asked me if I was planning on going back again.

Secondly, he has completely forgotten the nagging protocol, my different eye gestures and that I can get things done by crying and making a scene. We go to a friend’s place for dinner and when it’s time to leave I would normally look at his direction and raise my eyebrows. That means, ‘I am ready to go. Get your ass out of here NOW.’ It doesn’t mean, ‘Whatsup?’ like he thought it meant the other day. He mumbled something like, “ I am doing great sweets’ and continued to sit in the couch watching baseball with the beer, not even showing signs of I-might-get-up-in-the-next-ten-minutes. Aggggrrrh! I have to start the training from scratch.

Not back yet

I am not back.
Mentally.
I can’t stop thinking about it.
One day I will try and put it down in words.
But not today, coz I’m still not back.