Tuesday, February 14, 2006

White, Black, Brown and Red

Now who stops at an intersection when the light is yellow? Some idiotic guy with a gleaming new red Pontiac did and he was duly rear-ended by me. It’s rather difficult to pay attention to the road when one needs to change the CD, reach for the phone and dig the nose at the same time. So like I was saying, I was forced to come to complete halt while I was trying to make it to work in decent hour. Next thing I know the darn fellow jumped out from his car, ran to his bumper and started jumping up and down, screaming expletives with flaying hands at my direction! I guessed he might be a little pissed and thought of sliding my window down and offering an apology to calm him down. Before I could even say Sorry or something to that effect, he ordered me to get off the car and check out the damage to his new car. (Who buys a brand new car in Chicago anyway?) Fine! What a bore! I got off and looked... now carefully… now squinting. Dammit! Just a teeny scratch and he was causing a ruckus for that?! ‘I need your insurance details, miss’, he demanded.

Before I could dig into my purse and throw that information on this chap’s face, a brown town car screeched to a halt with some loud jarring rap music causing the birds in Chicago to migrate. A bunch of black guys with lot of chunky silver and gold jewelry got off. Never knew rear–ending was such a serious crime that would get the hoods involved. I was done for. Someone needs to make sure Pi doesn't remarry after my death. Oh well fine, even if he does, she had better not be strutting around in my new shoes I bought yesterday.

Unexpectedly the black brothers verbally attacked the Pontiac fellow, ‘Yo wassup maan, whassgoinonhere?!!’ They ruffled him up, told him it wasn’t my fault as they had seen the whole thing. Yelled at him and told him to get going. The poor guy was so rattled. He mumbled an apology to me and sped off in a hurry. I was too numb to even thank my… well… angels. I drove off in a trance. This whole racist thing being advantageous to me was a new angle to be explored.

Today (after a week of the incident) I saw the Pontiac guy stopped at the same intersection in front of me. He looked at me with disgust from his rear view mirror. As I gathered courage, I smiled at him genially. He glanced around suspiciously and when the lights turned green, he took his ultimate revenge. He shot up his middle finger as I watched in abject horror!

Spread the love people. Happy Valentines Day!

33 comments:

Barath said...

:) good one!

Spreadin love! :) happy V day

Talking abt accidents...you might want to to read this...

http://barathrao.blogspot.com/2005/08/car-living-room-earthquake-and-days.html

Hardu said...

Well, the poor guy. This was the least thing he could do to get some satisfaction. You could take revenge the next time you see him by doing the same thing. ;)

Hardu said...

Oops forgot to wish you- Happy Valentine's day. :) What are you and Pi planning to do?

Anonymous said...

I guess thats his way of showing you his love, he he he.

Anonymous said...

You seem to be particularly fond
of rear-ending ... If my memory serves me right, you had blogged about another rear-ending incident while you sang samajavaragamana, right ?

Adi said...

LOL

oh and btw ... im BACK :-)

alpha said...

barath: thanks..running off to read your post.

hardu: Pi boycotts Valentines day. I have to lie to people that I got a toffee from him. :(

anon: that's possible. Pi isn't that kind.

anon2: Yes, it was brand new car then too.. Actually I must commend your memory, but it was Brocheva. http://alpha.blogdrive.com/archive/59.html

Rear ends are easier to perform. I have obviously had other accidents too..but they weren't funny at all.

Anon 3 4 5 & 6: is it too much to ask you anons to come up with random names for urselves?

Adi bhaiya: Hey! missed u.

anantha said...

I remember this question from Kaun Banega Lakshmipathi.. sorry.. Crorepathi.

Amithab Bachchan: Now who stops at an intersection when the light is yellow?

A. People who drive, thats who.

Amitabh Bachan: Sahi Jawaaaab.... For better inparmasion (Inparmasion is wealth), please check: Traffic Lights and the law

So, read it and get some knowledge. Ya, I vaguely remember that Brocheva incident as well. Btw, what happened to your car?

Btw, Pi seems to be a dynamic man, boycotting V-Day and all. I might just enjoy meeting him. Send me your address! Really..I am waiting.

Queer said...

There is always a next time and use it effectively;)

Happy V-day.

alpha said...

anti: You stop in yellow, get ready to be rear ended and if u complain, face the wrath of my kallu brothers.

You'd rather not meet Pi for ur own good. He'll teach you some crappy skills on woman management (thinking it can be applied universally) and you may not end up with someone as patient/nice as me.

queer: use the finger, you mean? effectively, I will try.

anantha said...

Alpha: Who was talking about him teaching me. I was planning to advise him on how to handle you. I know all kinda management skills.

Zoheb said...

Oye, you should sue the guy you rear ended for emotional distress and what not. From what I know, one is not supposed to stop at a traffic light unless it has been more than 5 seconds since it turned red.

alpha said...

anti: Lets assume that you are good at that kind of skills and Pi is dying to hear it...what's the use?
You can't help him. he is stuck with me na?

zo: pehli baar tune kuch samajdhari ki baath kari! I better sue..here i was trying to extend hand of friendship aur usne finger diya!

anantha said...

Sue......... kar mere man ko kiya tuune kya ishara... badhla yeh mausam lage pyara jugh saara

You are playing with Pi's chance for a better life...... with you :p

AmitL said...

LOL..Twin,u attract trouble and ways to get out of it,for sure.:)Wonder what u'd have been doing,if the saviours had not turned up when they did??:)And,another big LOL at the way the guy got his revenge a week later....bechara,must be dreaming up ways to bring up his car behind yours one day,I bet...be careful.Happy belated V. Day to u2.:)

Ravages said...

Oh darn, i came here to remind you of brocheva. somebody already did. Damn anon2
Damn!

./w said...

Oh now there's something you don't get to hear everyday. You live in interesting times, don't you?

./w

shub said...

"loud jarring rap music causing the birds in Chicago to migrate"

rotfl!! where DO you come up with such lines!! :))

chitra said...

"dig my nose"?? HA HA HA HA

alpha said...

anti: bathroom singing not allowed here. oh well, it is allowed ..but close the door plz.

amitl: dreaming to get his car behind mine? he wudn't dare rear end mine! His car is more precious to him. haha!

ravages: Wow, you guys remember the stupidest things!

./w: Once things cease to get interesting..u beware.

shubs: thanks re.

chittu: u like me digging my nose?

D.N.A. said...

I was once rear ended by a big ass ford expedition! No money for guessing the driver was a woman. She didn't watch the morning traffic because, she was doing her "make-up" with the vanity mirror behind the shades! I didn't have my coffee so I was more than a little agitated. She didn't come out of her SUV until she was finished with her make up! What a nerve I say! Damn all those multi-tasking women drivers who can't really multi-task! (*My cubicle neighbour just came over to see what was it that I was typing so furiously*). "Serenity now! Serenity now!". Alpha, do you believe in Karma?

alpha said...

dna: tsk tsk... to say i feel for ya might not be taken very well this time. next time have coffee before typing comments. Women need to do their makeup and change Cds. I do believe in karma. I must have done something good to be saved by my k-bros that day!

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

Hey if the unspeakable happens can I have the new shoes u bought yesterday? Oh and don't worry about Pi... the sherpa will take care of him! Better him than some woman right? :D

alpha said...

Shufy: The shoe at least has a sole (to be read soul) of some sort. *sniff* But since I am impressed that you both have actually decided to keep Pi and cook for him, you can have my shoe. Heck take them all (including the hubby mind you) even while I am alive! They'll come in handy when you get frustrated.

Harish said...

LOL! at least u didnt grin and say "err.. he he.. hi.. imagine bumping into u again today"..

he'd have seen red if he heard that B word again! coming to think of it, he stopped because he saw red..

oh well, nv mind.. it's way past my bedtime and i'm blabbering.. gnite!

m said...

here we are mushing about roses and caviar and presents- and you have the best valentines day- laughs- drama - and some mini fake violence thrown in for good measure

chitra said...

Ha ha ha ha not everyone confesses to Alpha !!

Me said...

am sure...adutha vaati b brother vandiya edicha w brother kaapathuvaar ...

mebbe u can try that tomorrow....:p

dxb prasad said...

alpha beta (hindi, not what follows alpha in greek alphabet), as a 78-yr grandpa, all i can say is, next time u have this problem and kallu bros arent on scene, call me .. i will show him all my five fingers (to his one) and then clench them into a fist .. that shud be enuff. he cant knock my teeth off.. i havent any. ha ha.

i myself went thru some harrowing experience with car accident last night. wanna know? i just posted it on my blog .. how abt also leaving ur thoughts there?
http://xpatriotix.blogspot.com

take care beta.

anantha said...

Alpha: Duh... I use shower curtains VERY effectively.

alpha said...

harish:lol. i understood everyword of what you had to say..maybe i am sleepy too. Thanks for dropping by.

m: aha..looks like someone got lucky this valentines day like veery other v-days.sigh!

me: edhukku vambu? Nee try panni sollu.

dubai: thanks for the undying support. will def check your accident saga.

anti: not needed info.

kuttichuvaru said...

u never knw who is gonna come in ur support!!! I kinda visualiza the situation, ur "angels" with all the silverware, loose tshirts n pants n a cap in the head turned at 63 degrees frm the front, n also tat guy with the new pontiac.... LOL!!!

alpha said...

kc: glad i cud get you to actually see the drama.:)