Thursday, February 16, 2006

Interested Anyone? -Season II

Interested Anyone?, the hit show on POTP is back for its Second Season! The last one was a grand success (to my knowledge only). Every human candidate on the list got hooked up. Some are even married. (Yogi, I did mention human, didn’t I?) Ok, somehow it didn’t work the way it was intended…people protested and took matters in their own hands hoping never to be featured again. Patrix dumped Smiley and got engaged to Ash just because she looked better. Whatever it was, it worked in getting people moving. Now Alpha is considering a new set of not-so-fresh faces to be this season’s Bachelors and Bachelorettes. We hope our ‘single’ readers plunge in and seek companionship with our noteworthy candidates. Alpha is maha concerned about their lone standing in the universe especially when time is jaunting happily ahead.

Presenting to you *Tipu Sultan soundtrack*-

Leela:
Pickup line: You are priceless. Can I take a picture of you?
Expected answer: Absolutelee! Censored or uncensored?

Lee is very much single and would have settled with any random person a few years ago (yeah, even Yogi). Now she says she knows exactly what she wants- the strong silent types who like to be surrounded by local news. They look like mannequins to me. Before the desert heat gets to her and she breaks into one of these department stores in Dubai looking for the oasis in her life, we need to get her settled down quick. She can’t be running marathons and climbing rocks at this age. (Basically I am jealous, that’s all.)

Helpful hints: It’s not easy to impress her. Hmm.. that was not very helpful na? Ok, learn to solve the Rubik’s cube or be a cabbie who doesn’t ask silly questions.

Chitra-
Pickup line- “Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !! It’s cold …. yuxtremely cold !”
Expected answer- Can I dig my nose?

Guys, proceed with caution and don’t sue me if a husband tapkos from somewhere while you are getting all mushy for her. Obviously my homework is not very thorough. But I strongly suspect she is single as she put up this matrimonial on her blog. (Wonder who does her PR! Big head, maniacal laugh, Capsicum nose!) Please be kind to her in spite of all that.

Some helpful hints: To get her attention you could dedicate a song in Radio City. She dislikes male colleagues in general and abuses them on daily basis. Not advisable to secure job in her company unless you are a masochist. Don’t bring up baby issue in your first date.


Rhyncus:
Pick up line- Wanna see my centipede?
Expected answer- *blush*

A milkman by profession who travels with a centipede. When you ask him,’ Kya bhiayya, this is water or milk?!’, he’d let his centipede loose on you. Unbelievable business acumen that!

I urge you NOT to read his matrimonial. Now I am not to be blamed if you are spooked out. I DID warn you. Now you have no option, but to buy that Vanilla flavored toothpaste and keep it near the bedside or hoard on vanilla ice-cream all night long. I heard Goofy is giving classes on licking elbows if you might be interested. In any case, please be applying soon. Last I heard, playboy playmate Synus Mucus (that takes care of the porn insecurity point), daughter of renowned insect collector of exotic Timbuktu, is in the line for Rhyncus’ hand in holy matrimony. She can cry through her nose (hence the name) and she loves diamonds. Why she is almost perfect except for one point- her morning breath smells of two dead centipedes. So hurry up gals!

Helpful hints: Buy vanilla toothpaste.

Hardu:
Pick up line- You are probably a Raffaello- someone whom I wouldn’t try, given your specs… but might end up loving you if I did.
Expected answer- Buffalo?

Hardu means ‘hard’ in Kannada just like softu means soft. I don’t want to know the origins for that name… does sound very kinky to me. Well, Hardu claims she is actually a softie with a hard shell (sorta like a turtle) and says she is not interested in love (psst..this is all for the nosy brother’s sake). But then she goes around making a checklist in the sly. Only worrisome aspect is that the brother spent all his money on Hardu’s education and is borrowing huge sums for his wife’s education. So don’t expect much in dowry. The whole family speaks in German when they have nothing better to do. The freaky part with German is you can’t tell the good from the bad. They all sound like bad words.

Helpful hints: Learn German so you both can watch Harry Potter. I couldn’t muster enough guts to see it in English itself. Also try to butter up the sister-in-law. She seems like the control freak types. Helpful hints in that regard: SIL loves food and Hritik Roshan.

Anti:
His pick up line- I’m NO Superman.
Fully expects the girls to go- Awww…you are!

I had to include him as I can’t deal with a grown up man sulking and all. He already has many women vying for his attention (in his dreams) and claims he is … (oh, he claims a lot of things that haven’t been verified by yours truly). So we’ll leave it at that. He does have a sensitive side when he poses for photos and not so sensitive side when he tries to impress women with his Hindi.

Helpful hints: Look past everything you see and you may find what you are looking for when you aren’t looking at that.

Leave your interests and whereabouts in my comment box and mention a wedding date before consulting astrologer. The couple who sends in proof of 5 love-email exchanges will get a free couple template designed exclusively for you by the exalted Chugs (if the girl doesn’t like his design, she can have him). They will also be mentioned in Desi-Pundit with appropriate links.

140 comments:

anantha said...

Small correction: My so-called pickup line is - I'm NO Superman!

And my claims are the whole truth and nothing but the truth, starting from the pickup line. But it won't really hurt to hear the gals contridict my pickup line. And oh btw, you did not mention about my culinary skills! And I don't try to impress people, let alone the ladies, with my Hindi!

Alpha said...

anti: correction done..happy? jeez..talk about thanklessness! anyway, cooking up stories and lies doesn't ount for culinary skills.

dubai: Grandpas are welcome to take part..no age limit and all. Like any woman in this list? please send in application or contact the party directly. If woman falls in love with young darzee, not my headache. btw, you are also free to paisa feko at me.

anantha said...

Chal re...I will post one of my own recipes! And then you will know :p

Anonymous said...

Alpha, what this? Community service for traffic violation?

Anonymous said...

onnume puriyale ulagathule
ennamo nadakkuthu
marmama irukkuthu
onnume puriyale ulagathule

-krishna

Alpha said...

krishna, dna: shall I accept that as an application? You need to be a little more specific please. Dont dissapoint the ladies here.

Mrudula Sreekanth said...

Alpha: This did make many people read my blog. I first wondered how come so many people had visited my blog today and now I know the secret. The question of whether I can find my dream man still remains unanswered though. ;)

Mrudula Sreekanth said...

I like Hrithik Roshan too. He he he when have you heard us talking in German? I remembering all of us only speaking in English while talking to you. How did you know that my brother had spent all his money on my education? You know all the family secrets. shhhhhh :P

Alpha said...

hardu, together we'll work something. Stay cool. I am sure men are getting impressed with Rafaello. I can already see a mail coming from your brother to stop spoiling his baby sis.*shudder*

Mrudula Sreekanth said...

Dont worry. My brother must be fast asleep and he is off to meet his wife tomorrow. So no danger from him for the next few days. We should do our best with in that time. ;)

Alpha said...

lol..exciting! doing things behind people's back is cool.
Guys, heard that! Act now or repent forever.

Anonymous said...

well... wife is reading it anyway!!!!! and I am the control freak remember...

Alpha, you are way behind times. There are many more people I love now than Hritik Roshan... don't forget I am staying away from my husband ;).

Food is still my first love though.

Anonymous said...

I didn't know you take blind entries!

Alpha said...

dna: we have good eye care facilities..i'm sure you'll get donors..apply, girls esp are very sensitive to that. Do u have any particular liking or are you still shopping around?

Anonymous said...

alpha,

how about M.B.A.s (married but available.)

Alpha said...

anon, you cant ask these kinda questions and not give out your name and address! bummer!

well, to answer you, i have no idea..this has never been brought up before. You might as well apply and since the single people seem to have dissappeared into shyness, i guess you will have to do.

just out of curiosity, are you -
MBBS,MD (Married But Bitch Sleeps with My Dudhwala)

or just plain MBBS (Married but bored stiff)?

Chitra said...

Priceless Alpha... simply priceless :) !! Me ROTCL (Rolling On The Chair Laughing)) !!

Chitra said...

He he he ...would love to know the connection beteen my pick-up line and its answer :) :) :) !!

Alpha said...

colors: yikes! Didn't see you up there. when did u sneak in? Hiya..hows everything? Life's good and all I hope.

Good to know I got one love right. Say hi to the others. Must keep me updated na..how am I supposed to know.

chittu: Glad you enjoyed it. Oh the connection is there..imagine the whole thing happens in a bar. What else do u expect from drunk men?

Kowshic said...

"....since the single people seem to have dissappeared into shyness,...."

Anti, where are you? Akka theduranga unna!

Speaking for myself, alpha, while i'm honored that you'll put your's & your blog's reputation in-line for playing 'cupid' (is that what it is?), I have to say, I'm a little cyberphobic and hence will limit myself to the voyeruistic plessure alone.

Alpha said...

dna: akka-va? Unakku irruku da..you aren't too far away from me.

tsk tsk..that is sad. Such eligible bachelors are going away... don't take the pilot thing too seriously. I am sure women are open to geeky analysts. This is as much as I will ask you. Rest is upto you and your mom.

anantha said...

Hmmmmm....

Alpha said...

anti: he calls and you arrive?! what love what love! in tamil for you- enna levvu enna levvu!

anantha said...

Alpha: I told you i wouldn't converse in Tam here :p And aNTi would do anything for a friend and d.n.a is not exactly otherwise. It might not be the "yeh dosthi hum nahi chodenge" types, but it will pass muster and that's what brought me here. But you really scared the poor guy. He went all senti and serious on you. Now you really have to include him on that list. Ample space, there is, as Yoda would say.

anantha said...

Btw, have you been watching too many Kovai Sarala - Vadivelu movies or what?

Alpha said...

anti, rhomba thavikyade. he is not the kind to get scared away by me. list-a? I need slightly more infor than the fact that he is not a pilot and goes around with a nic- do.not.ask. What is poor akka to do? Why, he cud do what he is doing..slyly leaving comments on Hardu's bog.

Kowshic said...

"irukku da" va? Mariyadhai ellam balammmma irukku! Ippaye ippadina.......

Anti still looking for his killer recipe, I guess.

anantha said...

d.n.a: Nah dude, I got it all there. I am just wondering if I shld give too much importance to Alpha's description and give examples. Or just be myself. And what is this we hear about comments in the sly? :)

Hmmm....So it all begins...

Kowshic said...

"d.n.a is not exactly otherwise"

hum bahut kushi hua! ummai mechinom anti!

Alpha said...

both of you need to stop talking hindi this instant if you have any hopes of finding women thru this blog. thank you very much.

Alpha said...

wait! I think u found each other. how sweet. I will put anti's case to rest.

anantha said...

Alpha: No thanx, not that there is anything wrong with it. But anyways, not my side of the wicket.

anantha said...

D.N.A: I don't think you have quite comprehended the enormity of the quagmire that you are getting yourself into, so don't give us these half baked statements. Lets ditch concise-ness in favor of redundancy!

Kowshic said...

Anti: Whether you like it or not, you are in! YOU ARE IN SIR! So, you better pucker up and be at your best behavior!. It begins...alright....

Alpha ji: Inimel nahin Hindi ji!

Kowshic said...

I'm reminded of "Not that there's anything wrong with that" episode of Seinfeld. I also remember what George said to that journolist to prove otherwise!

anantha said...

D.N.A: Seinfeld is my inspiration too. I keep his "Seinlanguage" in close quarters all the time..

anantha said...

Alpha: In cycle gap, you navigated your Titanic and escaped... hmmm...

Alpha said...

dna: Imagining Anti puckering up, I know I will not get sleep tonight! Anti, congrats! its the tulips that did you in.

anantha said...

Alpha: Looks like d.n.a is oblivious to your deceit. Hmmm...

Kowshic said...

Anti: Ha! Seinfeld is the 21st century equivalent of nihilism! No beating that. It's a religion. Like "God Father" You can find answers for many things in life in it!

Alpha said...

Anti aur dna: noor vayisu sendhu irrunge. give broker dakshina please and then move over to private chat places to discuss seinfield and recipes.

anantha said...

Alpha: Please use a language that i can understand. All I can see is that you want both of us to leave this place to discuss Seinfeld and recipes elsewhere, though I think d.n.a can't see through your treachery even a wee little bit.
Sigh, I think you give me no alternative but to excuse myself out of this second edition, which btw sucks! :p

Alpha said...

anti: I think dna is very serious abt this relationship. He thinks of you as his boyfriend or girlfrind (you guys figure that out). You are all square now and you call this sucky?!!! hmf!

anantha said...

Alpha: I am not square or rectangular or remotely geomatrical. I am very irregular, in shape! You are shirking your duties by just brushing away your responsibility as a facilitator!

Kowshic said...

I'm going AWOL from this!

anantha said...

Finally he gets it!

Run while you can, d.n.a, from all this madness! Tell the world my story - the story of innocence lost, of treachery, of shirked responsibilities, all stemming from a thought that one could make a difference.

Unknown said...

Great job Alpha. Such happy endings thanks to a post, sob sob :D

Anonymous said...

applikason? aahaa...kelambittanggayyaa...thanks but no thanks.. cursed with one wife and blessed with a 3 yr old 'azgaana ratchasi'. just wondered what was goin on here.. one hour of my time, 2 cups of kofee, a kig size fag and a thorough investigation of your archives made things clear to me. 4 varushaththukku minnale paarththirunthaa nalla irunthirukkum. *sigh*

-krishna

Alpha said...

anti: LOL!!! If I were a guy, I would have proposed to you long back. Sigh! Good luck to you both. I am not obliged to be any facilitator or anything. you all are grown up.

wa: It wasn't all that hard work. I wasn't looking at that side of the wicket at all...but who am I to stop two ignited souls.

Now to look for a nice girl like yourself for our little Rhyncus.

krishna: if u had seen this 4 years ago, u'd end up in same situation now. hope u did something fun for Valentines day. Maybe Iam asking for too much. Love seems to have dissapeared.

anantha said...

Alpha: So, now I am abandoned? :(

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

Why am I not on this list? I am hurt that you do not consider me an eligible singleton. Esp. considering your husband stole mine from me. Hmph. You owe me missy

Anonymous said...

anti: dna abandoned you?!!! HOW DARE HE? paavi! one night and he takes off. we'll find him..indha oru thaan avan!

shufy: I was saving you for the best I have to offer- myself.

anantha said...

Alpha: Forgive me, for I am gonna abuse you. Idiot! I meant, abandoned by YOU! God...:p

anantha said...

Ok I take that back. Can I get a front row ticket for the show?

Alpha said...

anti: now I can relax. Good, I was worried abt your love life that took off so famously last night..that dna might have done the unspeakable and left.

Kowshic said...

"shufy: I was saving you for the best I have to offer- myself."

Boutros-Boutros Golly! Giddyup!!

Alpha said...

dna, vandhiyaa-da? relax madi. that was a ploy to get you out of the woodwork. (psst shufy, i'll explain)

dna,please keep Anti under control. He's calling me idiot and all.

Unknown said...

aaahaa now I understand why aNTi didn't get lucky despite my post, if only I had known I would have made sure it was the eligible bachelors and not the bachelorettes who were re-directed to his blog :))

Kowshic said...

Bring me out of woodwork? I thought, something else fell out of the closet!!

As far "MY BROTHER" anti, alpha, it's you he is frustrated at. You have the magic pill (May be Ms. Shuffy too!) And you know how to cure his "pasalai noi"!!

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

Alpha! I don;t know what to say... do you come with all your shoes?

Alpha said...

WA: now you all know. which post..didnt think even you were as altruistic as me.

dna: so that what you call ze partners these days-'far brothers'? whatever..me not needing to know. The closet thing happened yesterday onlee...
anti, what is pasalai noi? u need birthcontrol pills? go to doctor..and ask him if you really need it.

Alpha said...

shufy: do i have to wear them all?..u do have some vague preferances.

anantha said...

*throws his hands up at the futility of it all!

WA: Et tu Brutus? All for assuming that you are of no use to me! Bah...

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

What magic pill is this that dna thinks I posess?

Well alpha entirely up to you what you wear... i ws thinking along the lines of me getting all your shoes. And your welcome to stay too ofcourse!

Unknown said...

I can't stop laughing thanks guys. aNTi now that I know your preference I could do another post and I am sure between Alpha and me we could find a suitable partner for you. Then again, sounds like you already have :P

Alpha said...

shufy: too much confusion happening. hubby and shoes are already being shipped. Then you clearly state its my footware and not my foot you be interested in. I'll just stay I guess..and put my name in the list.

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

No No! I'm just making sure the shoes come... leave Pi behind... you come! With your shoes ok?

Unknown said...

That ain't fair, I was having such a good time laughing at aNTi here. I am sure he wants the limelight back, lets focus on them again please

Unknown said...

how did that happen? how did my comment get there before yours? And remember Shufy is after you & with the shoes ;)

anantha said...

Alpha: Now where did WA suddenly come in? NO. I protest. I reject your choice of this suitable boy and demand a Suitable GIRL! Since you started with me, please get done with me before you jump to others. Or if you insist on handling multiple customers, atleast stop adding more and more people to the list. We demand quality!

Alpha said...

sorry wa, my comment got deleted.:( we were talking of shifting focus and seeing that the others are settled as well *halo* Anti, stop being so selfish. Go on, make dinner plans with dna. Is that why you are coming to Chicago?

send single people in please. cant deal with married women interested in shoes of all things (and abandoning me)

anantha said...

send single people in please. cant deal with married women interested in shoes of all things (and abandoning me)

Fear not, o Alpha... help might be at hand. What do I get for sending single people in? Another shot at that list?

d.n.a does not exactly seem my type, not that there is anything wrong with it.

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

No no! I forsake your shoes for you! promise!

Alpha said...

anti: please do...but rgd you and dna, not sure if I can do anything abt it. you'll have to discuss with cupid.

shufy: touched.

Anonymous said...

Dont you guys ever get tired of talking about gay/lesbian stuff ... jeez !

New blog, Alpha pleeeze .. and spare me this inane stuff

Alpha said...

bloghopper: go..you have been removed from my leash. run free.

sometimes juvenile cravings are healthy.

Anonymous said...

The key is "somtimes".

Mrudula Sreekanth said...

alpha: You are supposed to give all of us equal attention. You will get anti hooked but the rest of us will remain single. :(

As I said something has to be done before my brother get back. So you have just the weekend to set things up for me. :P

Kowshic said...

Somebody is desperate, alright, where in Germany are you Ms. Hardu?

anantha said...

*makes a quick prayer to God who is great, for saving him...before cursing him once again for delaying his flight by 2 hours..

Mrudula Sreekanth said...

d.n.a.: The details of my exact location are mentioned on my blog.

Alpha said...

what? one break up already and the guy is found another. too bad anti, something or someone will crop up.

patty: I think I am attracting more married people this year. after a certain age, you need to just give up..i guess. hey, smiley was not even a candidate last to last year (2 years ago it was). Can u believe time just flew! bald flirts is not as bad as parrot nosed poets.

Yeah, wot to do..i have an exam to prepare, a home to run and a project to complete- hence the extra time.

Ravages/CC said...

LOL@Anti+dna and WA's gentle nudge in the right direction.

Alpha-akka; super post (Lest this be construed an application, it ain't. Just health respect for the writer)

Ravages/CC said...

when i mention helth respect, I meant healthy respect, of course.

Chugs said...

i didnt know lee was single..ahem..
and alphu do u happen to know chitra?
and hardu - usability researcher..interesting. does it include usability on the web?

damn..i think i threw too many of those idiomatic hats in the ring. grounds for disqualification?

Anonymous said...

Smiley's Girlfriend no 69: Hey who is this Patrixi chick?

:-) said...

Alpha: Please dont give up on me. Your mere mention gave me 90 hits. If you do an article on me, I will get hooked. Please please pretty please.

AmitL said...

I wish I could see Lee's face,when she reads that she" would have settled with any random person a few years ago",and,the balance description...:)U luv creating deadly situations,huh,Twin?:)Cheers...and,good luck to all those un'covered' in this post.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Alpha. My mother thanks you too!

Chugs, yes I am single. If interested, send me picture of you wearing today's headlines.

Amit, actually Alpha is right. Here's what my face looks like :-)

Rhyncus said...

Between my lover-specs and your gushing write-up, I think we've managed to scare all prospective 'companions' away. I now contemplate gloomy matrimony with Ms.Mucus. Ah well, at least our names rhyme (Mucus, not Sinus, as Gabby was once informed).

Alpha said...

ravages: 'Let this be construed an application, it ain't a healthy respect for the writer)'

ok considered. I need to consult with Chitra first before giving you a go ahead.

chusie: Nope..you aren't even allowed to participate. You are the organiser remember!
And what's with the three choices? Don't bring up your religion allowing it and all. won't do.

oh well, since you have been the only sincere candidate so far..I better let you take part - Feel free to pick at least three from the three choices.

Smiley: Someone sent me wrong information then. I thought you had too many women (like the funny smiley with two buns on her head) to handle and couldn't cope with work-life-balance and sex.

amitl:no body is being uncovered Twin, if you have come for that reason. too bad!

leela: Lee, you are strangely starting to ressemble Smiley. I wouldn't go around advertising that fact.
Chugs, Lee seems interested in your headlines. Please sleep in corduroy pillow tonight.

rhyncus: No seriously fella..stop thanking me like this.
No scare-ware and all, they are still reading and comprehending. Once they do, rest assured we might have scared them off.

dubai: Sush Sen hasn't walked in yet. Will keep you informed..gets difficult to sort thru all these celebreties who are coming.

Ravages/CC said...

Akka, you need to get your eyes a thorough check. LEST, I think, was the mot-juste I used.

Unknown said...

Alpha if ever there was application Ravages appln was the most sincere one of em all. Now that DNA seems to have dumped aNTi and moved on....you need to the facilitators job now :)

Anonymous said...

So, is there some form or something I have to fill up? :p

Alpha said...

ravages: Whatever, then why wud you come here and put up your profile and stuff? secondly why would you hire agents like Wicked Angel?

WA: I don't think these guys need facilitators. Very forward this generation is. But wa, feel free to do the needy. They are all yours.

madman: WHAT? Holy guacamole! You are still single?! Blasphemy! No form and all. I'll make it simpler for you..you being my favorite cook and all. Just say who you are interested in or leave romantic comments in their comment box. If you are too busy, hire WA (the girl upstairs).

Unknown said...

HaHa let me take over for min then :D I am sure madman and CCG know each other and need no introduction anyway, hope things work out guys. Good luck :P

YAYYYYYYYYYY 100 comments alpha, congratulations.

anantha said...

Haahaaahaaa :) More applicants, i seee.

Anonymous said...

WHAT? Holy guacamole! You are still single?! Blasphemy!

Hehe, apparently being able to cook gourmet grub isn't proving to be enough of a selling point. ;)


you being my favorite cook and all

"Cook" is someone you hire to make dal-roti, yaar. I'm a "chef".

I even have a helpful About page to facilitate matters. :p

Alpha said...

wa: .thanks. we will see doubl century at this rate if people dont figure out things fast.

please focus on the people on the list and not on hooking up applicants. One down..four more to go.

anti: Any interest yet? or are you still wallowing on lost opportunities and plotting to kill Hardu.

madman: Oh my! Good thing you took matters in your own hands. Comon girls, what would you not do to have your man cook... i am sorry chef!

Lol! sorry sir! Don't expect to be called chef after marriage. Expect to be called something worse than cook.

Mrudula Sreekanth said...

well anti basically has 2 options if he does not like the fact that dna has ditched him. He can figure that out himself I guess. Kill me or choose the other option. ;)

Mrudula Sreekanth said...

chugs: No, I am not into web designing. That's your space. :)

anantha said...

Kill me or choose the other option

Hmmmmm... The other option? Now what would that be? Please be more specific. You should be able to spell out what you want, if you really want what you want. :)

Alpha: I am still pissed off over a disturbed weekend :p

Kowshic said...

Anti brother, I know what you mean. I never thought I would become the grizzly in Lord Shiva's choir! However inadvertently, it may be. How do you want to settle this "quagmire"?

:-) said...

alpha: Sweetie, you sure are misinformed. My sex life is a myth. Patrix dumped me for a Minnie mouse. Sniff. Sniff. Now all I have is a dog who bites anything that moves.

anantha said...

Shiva, Grizzly? What are ya saying, bro? I ain't in any choir, bro! You get asked to be in a choir and I don't seem to have got that invite.

Mrudula Sreekanth said...

anti: Samajhadaron ko ishaara kaafi hota hai. ;)

Think of how you can take revenge on d.n.a.. Think...By snatching away the girl he is eyeing perhaps?..... ;)

Ravages/CC said...

@WA: Woah girl, Woah! Ok. Let that be construed an application. But I am an arrow. Straight and sure about it. Besides, I am madman enough for my tastes. I don't need another to queer the pitch. :))

Unknown said...

BAH! As Alpha said some people are just so ungrateful. Try as hard as I did, all my efforts of finding you guys suitable partners has been thrown back at my me :(( Poor Me

Ravages, you go ahead and try your luck with someone on the list and let me know if you are all gonna fight for the fair maiden Hardu's hand. If so, can I have a front row seat for the fight please :D

Kowshic said...

Anti: I meant "siva pujayil karadi". Hardu's response just strengthens my assertion!

Anonymous said...

WA, I used to be a usability guy in my past life, if that's any help. :p

Is there anyone here in Bangalore?

anantha said...

d.n.a: Here I was, exercising my vocal chords ALONE and there you go, conjuring up a orchestra and a chorus. Anyways, the world (read WA and her satanic supporters) wishes us to fight, but I think war is a thing of the past. I don't fight, not even over the last peice of cheesecake. So would I wanna fight over fair (and lovely, i should add) maidens? I am still making up my mind.

Hardu: As buaji would attest, my Hindi is as poor as her Thamizh. In fact, the only Ishara I know is B.R.Ishara! And I thought he was dead by now. Now which Ishara are you talking about? Spit it out gal!

CCG: Refer to my comment elsewhere. WA is no use! Only loose talk!

Kowshic said...

Anti: Now you should put it that way, the only option is to let the object of contention decide for itself. The potential problem there is that the object might turn greedy and say "why not both?", which is unacceptable, for both of us.

So exploring other options, we have at our disposal anything from a coin toss to bare knuckle boxing. While I like to add that my personal favourite - "sha-boo-three" or its grown up version "last man standing tequila shots". But since you are still making up your mind, let me take that time to make up mine too.

Alpha said...

hardu, from no valentine on V-day to honhaar guys actually comparing you to Shiva's puja and cheese-cake..in just a week. You have come a long way girl. You make me proud. See, in the end if you don't like these guys its ok (really ok), you'll at least have a good resume.

anti: Aiyoo! You mom will have to forever worry abt your single status. No scope at all da for you. bah! next time kill me if I even try. You'll spend all your life going to your niece's jazz contests...thathastu!

dna: Anti is a 'whats-that-bad-word-called'..a teetotaler. Doesn't drink, doesn't fight, heck he refuses to even write a love letter. You are the clear winner here, don't you see.

Madman: Chitra belongs to Bangalore.
Please someone respond to Madman's ad for I can demand free dinner at Shiok.

smiley: I think you got the better end of the deal. A mouse vs. a dog?

ravages: now that you have stated your intentions, do you plan on anything next?

wa: seriously waste some people are.
Lee is nursing her sore feet and eloped with the manequins.
Ryncus is cautiously thinking abt his next move.
Anti just spoilt his chances with both males and females.
I'm convinced Chitra does have a husband or why wudn't she respond to the Bangalore ads (Madman and Chugs).
I'll be sent lawyer notices from Hardu's brother or kudos depending on what kind of liability she is. Me thinks I will get kuods.

now to snuggle up and watch 'Desperate Housewives'

Ravages/CC said...

ravages: now that you have stated your intentions, do you plan on anything next?

How about a box of chocolates and 10 red roses?

Alpha said...

ravages: thanks, I'll keep the chocolates.I knew something wud come out of this selfless task.
Ok, what abt wooing the single women afterwards.

Chitra said...

Ha ha ha Madman and Chugs...please feel free to mail me (husband or no husband) :) :) !!

Anonymous said...

DNA darling, check your email.

Mrudula Sreekanth said...

alpha: Looks like both the bakra's ran away at the same time or as they put it they are "making up their mind". ;) d.n.a. has stopped writing love letters and anti never wrote any in the first place!

anti: I have completely given up on you.

d.n.a.: As anti is not interested and there is not going to be any fight, you are the clear winner just like alpha said.

Twilight Fairy said...

arrey alpha! you left me out this year too! on second thoughts boy, am I happy about that.. the smiley/patrix couple thankfully got dissolved and sanity prevailed :p

Anonymous said...

To quote a very favorite author of mine

"Men marry because they are tired.
Women marry because they are curious.

Both are disappointed".

aNTi and dna both seem tired: ready for the pickings. The q is if either or both have excited enough curiosity ?

==> volunteer for the vissil n dandanaka tapankoothu in fronta procession.

I mean, tis the one thing common to funeral and wedding processions.

anantha said...

?!: Can I join the visil and dandanaka tapankoothu? I am well versed in both of that and was the first person invited to join the proceedings whenever the occasion called for an exhibition of the said arts while i was in undergrad and oh.. also when we were playing cricket. I am ready for the pickings. Like Bharathiyar's Pudhumai Penn, I am first example of Anantha's Pudhumai Aan (New Age Man). No fighting over maidens, definitely not with another guy. If they want, they can fight over me, i.e a couple of maidens, that is.

Hardu: You gave up way too easily. Even before you stated your intentions CLEARLY.

D.N.A: Looks like you are the second example of "Pudhumai Aan". You got two maidens trying to smooth talk you, unless one is Alpha herself. She can do that, you know.

Unknown said...

@aNTi - "WA is no use! Only loose talk!" - Thats it now, I am about to go and sulk elsewhere :((

CCG - Since Alpha has accepted the chocolates, I shall take the flowers :)

Alpha said...

tf: seriously considered you, but cudnt get dirt on you.:(

?!: lol at vissil n dandanaka tapankoothu! Wud love to see your performance one day.

anti: how did u know one of the maidens was me?

Anonymous said...

Meadow :You're a maiden ?

==> vissil n dandanaka tapankoothu. Pi has joined the 4 n 20 blackbirds ?

Anti : Can no longer vissil, broke a front tooth. Will match you @ dandanaka anyday. Let's form a troupe. Help wanted : girl in frayed paavadai to collect change from onlookers. (Someone having a old patched up skirt). One pickpocket for the actual business.

Alpha said...

So to hear them sing, we need to cut open Pi? *trying to match the humor here, i am getting good at it*

I have patched up skirt (remember in green color) and I can pickpocket..all in one alpha.

anantha said...

?!: Troupe? hmmm... sure.

A.I.O. Alpha: Too much...... It does not take an Einstein to figure that one out.

Anonymous said...

alpha2=>alfalfa=> Meadow. Naaa, we need the femme sympathy wave inducers to do the change collecting, so you stick to that role. (actually,if you do the pickpocketing, wouldn't trust you to give me the money).

aNTi, on the other hand, would be dangerous as a pickpocket. Given his errr predilections on display here, might end up getting lots of CTs and no money.

Alpha, I think you better concentrate on the agent biz. Not one of the DDs has so far mailed me an advance. ( Preference is the director gent, but the publisher will do too. Methinks the publisher would be more amenable to your fluttering a few eyelashes. Or offer to feature him in this list).

Alpha said...

I'm horrible at fluttering eyelashes! period.
http://alpha.blogdrive.com/archive/08.html

send me pictures of the publishers you are considering and I may get over my eyelash fluttering inhibitions.

The fact that you are insisting on still staying in the matrimonial post does give me a few hints which I am not sure i am supposed to avoid.

Anonymous said...

DDs :

1. David Dhawan

2. David Davidar

And stayed on here by mistek : hadn't closed the window and just commented after pressing reload :)

Ravages/CC said...

@WA: You can have the flowers. But what will I have at the end of this all?

Unknown said...

CCG - What will you have at the end of it? Bill from the florist :P

okay okay, you send the flowers I will put a post up saying what a wonderful person you are and try convince the single women to head to your blog. Hope you woo them better than aNTi did.

Ravages/CC said...

No no. I don't need no Bill from the florist. Nor do I need John or Tom or Chuck.

Alpha said...

lol@wa & ravages. Chuck the Bill.

?!: Both aren't the greatest lookers. Find someone else.

Anonymous said...

alpha,
I am schizophrenic, so could you fix me with 2?

~Pavan

Alpha said...

pavan- lol. i hope u know we are talking of marriage and not drinks. even for a schizo, i dont think two wives is a good idea.

Ravages/CC said...

alpha:
Chuck the Bill

If it ain't too much of a problem with you, I would rather not.

Anonymous said...

Alpha, when you say find someone else ... you giving up the agentship so soon ?

Gah, don't do it. Will have to modify all the sonnets written on your name.

Alpha said...

sonnets? I am all ears. ok fine, i will go and do the unthinkable..bat my eyelashes at some Demand Draft.

Anonymous said...

You are all ears ?

Sigh, looks like the sonnets will require modification after all.

Those be the ones we shall croon in your honour during the acceptance speeches.. you wouldn't want to spoil the moment, would you ?

Anonymous said...

Someone explain me wats going on in this post...
dumbass