Thursday, July 05, 2007

One Desperate Soul to Another

Pittsburgh social life is looking up for us. FINALLY!

I replied to a plea on the internet. I will keep you posted on our budding friendship.
I've copied this guy's post and my reply follows:

Looking for friends (Anywhere in Pittsburgh)

Posted on: Friday, 29 June, 2007 12:28

Hi,
I will probably get a lot of flak for this post but this is really a final ditch effort to find some decent friends in the Pittsburgh region. Over the last few years, my wife and I have had a tough time finding friends who are sophisticated yet warm. We either find people who're too snooty or pretentious or those who are gauche and inflexible to living a life commensurate with the ways of the US.

We're looking for friends who:

1. Are active, fun and sophisticated.

2. Are not parochial.

3. Are perfectly bi-lingual in English and Hindi.

4. Are interested in travelling and learning new activiites.

5. Are between 25-35.

If you know what I mean and are nodding empathetically, you're the kind of person we want to meet. If you're confused or annoyed because you think that friends are not meant to be mail-ordered, I completely understand. Please accept my apologies and disregard this post. My aim was not to offend anyone. It was just an easy way to find friends that share the same tastes.

_______________________________________________
Look No Further

Dear friendless in Pittsburgh,

My husband and I have moved to Pittsburgh from Chicago and we are on the brink of moving back if we don't find friends in this area soon. I just dropped my packed bags when I saw this post of yours. We nodded so much that we are on tranquilizers now. We are the right people for you and you wife to hang out with. And here’s why-

We have credentials and would qualify for all the points-

1. We are very active. Hubby channel surfs while lying on the couch and drinking beer (actively multitasking) while I am actively thinking on how to throw the TV while he blinks.
Regarding fun, we laugh at appropriate times when one says something that is perceived funny. Like your post.
I am not sure if owning a pair of shoes qualifies for sophistication, but I assure you we wear shoes. Hubby has stopped spitting on the roads ever since Bihar stopped exporting paan. (Of course, this was to also to be flexible to living a life commensurate with the ways of the US)

2. You can be rest assured we are not parochial since we are not entirely sure what it means.

3. Except 'parochial', I think we know all the words in English, even 'bi-lingual'. Sadly, my hubby needs subtitles to watch Hindi movies. Damn it! I knew this trait in him would pose a threat to our social life one day!

4. We love traveling just to eat pretzels offered in airlines. We are mostly constipated from this indulgence. We don't mind learning new activities as long as they are geared towards somehow getting ourselves featured in the Limca Book of World Records. We are in the process of making dinnerware from earwax.

5. For the first time I feel good about my age. Thank Heavens I am not 23 or even 24!

Please consider our application and let us know at the soonest if we made the cut. We are in dire need of friends and I am not kidding this time.

P.S. - You both are invited to dinner anytime. (Hope this brings out our warm personality)

Sincerely,
Hubby and I

22 comments:

Me said...

rotfl...

Ash said...

Lol, can't wait to hear what reply you get!

I think we should post something like this in College Station too :P

bloghopper said...

Now that the in-laws have left you to fend for yourselves, you are back on the circuit !! Yeah !

Alpha said...

me: :)

Ash: He better reply. I need to know what parochial means.
yeah, this internet thing seems like the way to go.

bh: in-laws still there. *deep breaths*

Patrix said...

Shyaay! Ash already said what I wanted to say. Given my 'quagmire' knowledge, I too am not sure what parochial means :)

Anand Sarolkar said...

LOL...funny post...funnier reply.

AmitL said...

Hi,Twin..LOLOL...this was too good..perhaps I should put something up too on my blog.But,knowing this place,they'd ban my blog,probably,the way they recently banned orkut all over again,courtesy some people's moral policing.So,how've u been?Not on ym these days??

Alpha said...

patty: thank goodness...even if you dont know what parochial is, I guess I still am in the sophisticated radar. I hope I can get references from you if need be.

anand: yeah, it kept me occupied.

amitl: yeah, i am hoping my friendship application gets accepted. i have been super busy with visiting family lately. so much to share with you all.

AmitL said...

Hey,I can't resist a pun- I'm so glad life isn't the 'Pitts' in your Burgh.:)

parmanu said...

Clearly, both the post and the reply are from you, but I don't mind accepting your version as long as you soon "produce" a reply and put it up here.

Rodrigo said...

Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Se você quiser linkar meu blog no seu eu ficaria agradecido, até mais e sucesso. (If you speak English can see the version in English of the Camiseta Personalizada. If he will be possible add my blog in your blogroll I thankful, bye friend).

GratisGab said...

Heh. This post was old-alpha-funny.

hon. move to boston. we can go prowling together.

Dedicated Alpha Fan said...

i think parmanu is right !i cant imagine any other person who can put a "application" in search of friends !!! but greeeaaat post , alpha !lol !! and u are back !

Alpha said...

amitl: when we get to the brim of the Pitt, we'll be cool.

Parmanu: You have always doubted me, but thinking that I know what parochial means is taking this disbelief a bit too far.

rods: Looks like my blog life is also taking off! except, I might need subtitles.

Gabby: I was reminded of your mail ordered friends..if it worked for you, it just might work for us. BTW, he replied and we're all set with a date.

DAF: Thanks! Other than me, you will be surprised that there are other weirdos hanging around.

Me said...

why would i be surprised?

alpha said...

me: this me-you joke can carry you only so far in life...

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

- Amethyst

The Visitor said...

Nothing related to the current post. Remember the reco I promised?
GB speaks
GB

The Visitor said...

Hi alpha - I hope things are fine with you? Quite a number of blogs that I visit are either going off the air or are not active.
Specifically the ones mentioned in the comment above.

AmitL said...

Hey,Twin,phir kya hua?BTW,u're mentioned in my blog bday post...reminds me,where's your blog bday post??:)

Suman said...

Nice one....

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anantha said...

Hey vetti! Why silent? :P