Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The Voyeur

The windows occupy a large part of our bedroom wall. I usually don’t keep the blinds of this particular window open, as it faces the neighboring building. One night, while talking to a friend on the phone, I absentmindedly started to play with the blinds of the window in my bedroom. I twisted them open. Instinctively, I started scanning other people’s homes through their open windows. I peeked through the windows to catch a glimpse of their lives. It aroused me to realize that they weren’t aware of this unwelcome spectator.

That’s when I saw a young woman walking around in her apartment. Quite a shabby pad for a pretty thing like her, I thought. Before I could move on to the next window, she started peeling her clothes off, I mean, actually stripping! In no time, her skimpy top and everything else was on the floor. At this point, I had to pinch myself. I thought to myself, these things only happen to other people.

I hastily hung up on my friend, after explaining the grave scenario. If it were up to him, he would have caught the next flight home. I rushed and switched off all the lights, and watched this amazing live performance by Nudie from partially open blinds. She was blonde and tall. She was probably in her late twenties and looked good naked. She walked around naked, read her book naked, manicured naked without even bothering to give a look sideways. Now, one would think Nudie might realize that her blinds were open and that there could be onlookers trying to get to know her. I was sure that any minute now she would retreat into the dark abyss never to return. But, she didn’t disappoint me. She regaled me for the whole evening. I was quite amazed. Maybe Nudie was an exhibitionist who loved to show off her assets. Maybe she was trying to woo someone in our building. Maybe she had psoriasis and couldn’t wear clothes. Did I care?

Then there was this other woman, Creepy. She lives in the apartment above Nudie and thought I was peeking into her house. She kept eyeing my window suspiciously, peering from above the book she was reading. Here I thought I was operating discreetly. At one point, Creepy stormed up to her window and shut her blinds seemingly angry. Huh? Some issues you must have, missy! If only you knew what was going on under your snooty nose
!
Suddenly, after an hour or so, Nudie disappeared. I couldn’t tell where. To another room, maybe. She surely couldn’t have felt my eyes on her. I waited patiently by the window. I ran to the kitchen and brought out a bar stool and orange juice and made myself more comfortable. But she refused to make her appearance. I was getting restless and a little frustrated.

After some ten long minutes of waiting near the window to no avail, I was giving up the hope of seeing her again that night. That’s when I heard a loud knock on my door. A little startled, I ambled towards the door. My eyes popped out of their sockets and my heart leapt out of the rib cage to see her at my door. For a minute I didn’t recognize Nudie with her clothes on. She was really beautiful up close. She wore jeans and a plaid shirt and looked much younger than I thought she was. Maybe she was in her early twenties, I corrected my previous estimate. She had an enviable aura of confidence surrounding her.

“May I come in? My name is Heather, by the way. I live in the next building.”

It suddenly struck me that I had been gawking at her all along. Collecting myself and checking my heart rate, I managed to mutter “Yeah.. Hi. I am Monica. Uh… What can I can do for you?” I ushered her in the most akward way.

“Hi Monica, pleased to meet you. Sorry to barge in like this. I have come to collect my fees. That would be 63 dollars with tax.” She replied in the most business-like tone I have ever heard.

“I don’t understand. I owe you money?” I stuttered. Wow! I thought. This woman had the gall to approach me and ask me to pay her for something I didn’t really seek out. Why would I, in my right mind, want to watch a naked woman do her nails? I nervously noticed that she had lavender color painted on her nails. From the window I couldn’t really tell.

“Yes, for my services. You spent an hour watching my performance and it is only fair that you pay me now.” She replied shrugging her shoulders with an admonishing look as if she were talking to a child.

“I think you are mistaken. I don’t know you at all.” I managed to blurt out much to my own astonishment.

She rolled her big blue eyes.

I was already regretting my deed the minute I saw her at the door. She had caught me unawares and all this was unbelievable. I knew she was wronging me, but I was at a loss of words. “Er...um...I don’t think I was aware of a fee. In that case, I wouldn’t have...”

“That’s what they all say dear. I gather you really enjoyed the ride. So why are we hesitating here? Just write me a check or pay by cash and I shall leave amicably.”

At this point, I had resigned to paying her. I didn’t want to be embarrassed anymore. I became bolder and began to haggle. “Aren’t you a little pricey? 60 dollars is a bit too much. Moreover, if I were given a choice, I would have preferred a man instead of you.”

She sighed and leaned forward. “If you had gone to a strip bar, everything would be predictable. So I charge extra for that element of surprise and the whole illicit experience. And sweetheart, naked men are ugly.”

She did have a point. I seemed to have a lot of fun being a voyeur. So I paid her 63 dollars in cash. Didn’t really tip her, as I wasn’t too sure. I knew my husband would not be pleased with this unwarranted expenditure. But she seemed pleased and walked away after shaking my hand, hoping to meet me again.

When Harish got home later that night, I explained this bizarre situation to him. ‘Honey, you won’t believe what happened to me today…’ I rambled on about Heather. At first he seemed disinterested in having this discourse with me. But when I reached the Nudie part, he sat up with interest and didn’t get back to the newspaper till Heather said bye. He looked at me nonchalantly and said, ‘I have to admit, this has got to be the most innovative story behind those new shoes I see on the rack today.’

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recently Parmanu reminded me about Nudie while he was having fun with Pinky. Trying my hand at short stories, I had written this inspired by a true incident I had blogged about long ago. I remember Gabby running to the other room and yelling, "Alpha, come here quick... this is a better view."

36 comments:

pingoo said...

no binoculars or anything ?? when she opened the door ..Voyueur could have said "aah ! that IS lavendar !! I was right :)"..hmm..so this is what ur doing at home ?? :O and I thought you are *seriously* preparing for some exam !!

alpha said...

pingoo maharaj! Have put approp link. check. i am just putting up story I wrote long ago...sorta like when TV shows come up with -Best of 'blah-blah' when the crew is on vacation.

For some 10 feet away, you don't need bino.

pingoo said...

I know !! chill :)..konjam special effects adu ;-)

Anonymous said...

lame attempt ! You can do much better.

bloghopper

Ash said...

LOL !
Great story, Alpha :) I can see you are spending your free time in creative ways !

Ash said...

And why Moica ?
Married to Harish

Anonymous said...

hmmm...
no comments
_ smiley

?! said...

"For a minute I didn’t recognize Nudie with her clothes on" ... one minute for a woman, forever for a man.

GratisGab said...

Remember Creepy staring us back?? It still sends chills dowm my spine.

Good. Also good you omitted the scratching. Guys, she's doing you a favor.

Zoheb said...

I was expecting the story-ending to be more like alpha saying "For 63 dollars you did better give me more ...." followed by a link to CCBill and free Adult verification using my credit card number for the rest of the story and pics.

anantha said...

*LMAO*

For a minute I thought you had gone incommunicado and deleted all your posts after the Nudie post that I read sometime back in your archives.

naked men are ugly

What was she? I thought "Monica" was watching "Heather" and not "Hari Puthar"!

*goes back and reads the story again*

And I think I can picture Gabby running from window to window. So is this where she bases her "wide knowledge" upon? I mean the knowledge that she elaborated on her Tirupathi post of a few months ago? Better view, indeed! :p

AmitL said...

LOL.Twin,I was just scratching my head and wondering where I'd read the real life version of this one,earlier..and,then,I saw the link below.:)I remember asking u why u were not charging ticket fees....now, u come up with the Nudie lady charging ticket fees.:):)Tks for a good laff.:)

Patrix said...

Wasn't this for your Creative Writing class?? or wasn't I supposed to reveal that :)

alpha said...

pingoo: even i did for effects.

bloghopper: when I start sending my stories for the Women's Era Story writing contest, I'll surely run it by you.

ash: thanksie! monica and harish? I will think up a story for that and let you know soon.

?!: haha! I would assume!

smiley: thanks for letting me know. You are a great person.

gabby: hah! My original uncensored version had all the scratching. Remember how we sat till 3 am watching till we got bored out of our wits! Creepy is still there though Nudie left..waaaah!


zoheb: for this comment, you expect a reply-comment?

anti: Gabby gets most of her material from 'Sex in the City' and such. I have to show her the real world sometimes.

amitl: funny, you still remembered! I know..I almost got swindled..shud have charged fees.

Patrix: What a friend you are! What a memory! Shucks! Was trying to avoid comments like ' You went to a creative class and your writing still sucks!'

Parna said...

good one Alpha. hopefully the 'real life incident' did not end with some money changing :)

phatichar said...

:)Nice story...

:-) said...

alpha: Wait, I didnt mean no comments, I meant, I will comment later. :-))))))) Yeah, I read this short story. Its a great one. :-))) First time I read it (the uncensored version), I loved it.

I didnt realize Gabby and you are friends from back then

Rhyncus dude: Cant wait to see your version.

Leela said...

I loved your story. Especially the ending :-)

anumita said...

I was wondering if Nudie came back to the delight of one and all! If she reads your post, she ll borrow the idea and make some money in her present neighbourhood!

alpha said...

parna: no re... we almost could have got sued for infringing on privacy so blatantly.

smiley: gee, how cute of u... poor rhyncus..too much pressure on the poor kid. I have told you he doesn't have a clue abt women, esp naked women... only Manglorean serial killers and Japanese underworld.

leels: thanks Mo!

anumita: If you had known the real Nudie, you'd have realised what an altruistic female she was. She gave it all for free....for months.

KJ said...

LOL ! read the earlier story also...
Great story, Alpha


have a nice day

prasad said...

show cause notice :
pls xplain why u shudnt b charged 4 the following offences :

1. breach of other's pvcy (peeping jane b'havior)

2. misappropriation of family finances for a "rack fill"

3. misrepresentation of expenditure to the hse authority

4. abetting skin-flint sale

5. immoral conduct (if u define morality as "do unto others as u wud want others do unto u") since u wudnt welcome others to such behavior unto u.

6. swaying public opinion to make them drool raunchily.

must receive ur response within 48 hours for lenient consideration.

this is in public interest and 4 upkeep of societal morality.

ps : pls no papa-beti appeal hoping for reduced sentence if the charges r accepted and/or proved.

Anonymous said...

prasad : make it a dragnet. i am in. alpha, you are under arrest, you voilated moral code 5.

-smiley

Parmanu said...

How did you arrive at 63? Which tax calculation formula did you use?

alpha said...

kj: thanks.

Why are the guys ganging up on me with non-English words? skin-flint, dragnet, taxes? Yikes! is thius some kinda cheap revenge for the last post?

Prasad: I will forward your queries to Monica.

Smiley: Is arrest a good looking guy?

parmanu: aiyooo! I will forward your query to Heather..

Any questions for me?

alpha said...

phatichar: coming from a great story teller!..thanks.

Anonymous said...

Thats my middle name ( I am so funny)
-smiley

Patrix said...

Sorry, yaar...couldn't not resist but why are you fishing for compliments by saying things like, "my writing sucks" :) you were featured in the Strait Times, remember? maybe the Gay Times next time.

:-) said...

Just to be reminded that she is a good writer. Come on Patrix macha.

Hey! There is a Gay times!!!? I didnt know. This post would straightaway hit the front page.

alpha said...

patrixu: It's always better to say it yourself than hear it from others.

Smiley: You and Patrix talking of Gay stuff reminds me of the marriage proposal.

Anonymous said...

sigh...yeah yeah and that silly girl stole my Patrix
-Smiley

anya said...

That would be 63 dollars with tax!!!
I was actually believing it till the damn tax came along. Spoilsport.

JW said...

Lol! Nice.

thennavan said...

Alpha mami, indha post edho "sliver" paartha effect aattam irukku. Ungalukku nannaa irukkaa ippadi ellaam panradhu?

:-)

Anonymous said...

Imagine you in the place of nudie.By the way even if you wantedly show someone they will not dare to see your beauty.
I bet no damn person in this world will dare to see you.If so he should be from a zoo.

blog decently !!

Whats that you are going to prove u crazy nut.With this blog you are not beautiful atleast physially but also the worst character.

Anonymous said...

Hello again!! Before you speak all the stuff think how your post differs from the other one "Hear me".In your case when you don't mind being a peeping tom on one side and when the situation bounces on you suddenly how come you are pure or impeccant. Stop all crap and blog smth which doesn't show your image.