Friday, May 12, 2006

Strange Strangers

I must be mad. I spent a fortune buying gifts for a whole bunch of strangers. No, they are not poor or homeless (God forbid); they aren’t even expecting gifts. Forget thanking me for this gesture, they won’t even acknowledge it. But I still have to give them something that they will not cherish and will not remember me by. As years go by, strangely enough, my gift will probably be passed on to some other stranger.

‘Cooochie cooochie! Look what aunty Alpha got you. A bouncing .. ermm… flashing...what the heck is this called?’ I ask, as the baby looks at me like one would look at something completely nondescript as a milk bottle.

The mom knows exactly what it is and I see her eyes lighting with excitement at the sight of gift receipt. She thinks, ‘ She has no clue what babies need. Yes! I shall return that ugly thing and buy diapers instead.’

I must keep these parents happy as they are somehow connected to this stranger who has invaded their lives and has taken them away from me. This is my way of appeasing them, pledging my solidarity to this little drool machine while claiming their love back, even if it has to be for that minute when they say, ‘Awww, such a cute little dress. So thoughtful of you. You shouldn’t have.’

I look at them with soulful eyes that say, ‘You still like me, don’t you?’ To which they look at their bundle of crap filled diaper and go, ‘Googoo doll, you poopooed again! Little darling. Let me clean you up. Alpha, go wash your hands and just hold her legs like this.’

Priceless moments, these. Yet they will ask me, ‘Don’t you feel compelled to have one?’

Maternal instincts are getting extinct at an alarming rate. Actually the babies are cute and cuddly and very well deserve the little ducky booties on their tiny adorable feet. But seriously speaking, what’s the difference between this crapping baby and the random baby wailing in the Air India flight - the parents of course. They are the reason why crapping baby gets gifts from aunty Alpha. While I don't hold one baby against the other, deep inside I like the one in the flight, comepletely oblivious to my affection. At least that baby wasn't the cause of this rant.

32 comments:

bloghopper said...

What ? So now you buy things for babies you meet on the airplanes. Where were you when I travelled the last time ?

alpha said...

what i meant is my gift might have been passed on to this little guy without my knowledge of course.

alpha said...

...or i might have known his parents in some vague past and actually bought a gift for him.

bloghopper said...

Wow that was profound ! Almost went over my head :) Anyway, cant help but wonder what your reaction will be when you see the maharaja !

anantha said...

Look what aunty Alpha got you

Yipeeee... I am getting gifts!

alpha said...

Bh: I think the Maharaja and I will have a healthy relationship as long as he lets his mom call her friends ... i am getting gossip starved!

anti: u have a baby now? the cabbie and yours?

Me said...

hey alpha i need some advice....what gift should i get for grahapravesam?

alpha said...

me: condoms. ok i am not in the greatest mood to be giving house warming gift advice. maybe a rough-uncomfortable bedsheet?

Me said...

ada ponga alpha seriousaa keta ippadi solreenga.....anyways i have to get something b4 sunday...

student life was so easy....never bothered abt such things....

alpha said...

what, student life over? when? no party nothing? I wud have got you a student-life-over gift. ok serious advice..for house warming ..depends on their taste.

Flowers safest- cheapest.

crystal fruit bowl from Mikasa- very popular (I hate).

Nice framed mirror from World Market(I prefer wood)is a good gift..to hang a mirror facing door wards away evil eye according to vastu. (photo frame is also ok)

If you have a big budget dont waste it on buying gifts you think are good; gift card from crate & barrel or Bed bath & beyond or Best Buy is good.

The ceremony will be sometime in November. Please come with family.

Me said...

thanks alpha...so nice of u...let me try which works out....

what, student life over? when? no party nothing?

last may.... u commented too...

The ceremony will be sometime in November. Please come with family. ...so u doing grahapravesam in nov

Hardu said...

alpha: You said the ceremony is in Nov. Were you referring to the grihapravesham of your house or now that you are talking of babies, is it your baby showers in November? ;)

WA said...

HaHa Hardu good one :)

Me - A year later you still haven't written about her

To myself - Stop doing taking over Alpha's comment box, thats aNTi's job.

Me said...

witchu now i wish u had memory like alpha....

Me said...

& dont bother too much abt taking alpha's comment box ......its like teakada anyone can come and talk anything anytime....

alpha said...

me, ermm. so it is my comment. as long as you remember that you graduated. yeah, what abt the girl friend post? all we got to see is her yahoo avtar. and what? anti had identity crisis from a year ago?

hardu: i would not be giving fruit bowl gift suggestions for my baby shower...or maybe i would. but hey, i am still in the writing exams age.

wicked angel: comon, dont say such things..you and the black eyed peas are welcome to stay here as long as you like. the minute comments start becoming relevant to posts, I will officially retire...or if posts start becoming relavant to my life.

me: as long as strangers get the impression that I get so many comments. changing your name and posting comments is also recommended...like anti, blogger known as anti, anti who is angul, ant eat her..

speed said...

hey alpha, just wanted to say that i still love reading ur blog...:D

alpha said...

OMG speed! thanks! I still miss you around. wishing you the best. As you can see, I have mellowed down.:)

anumita said...

When you cant beat them, join them. Have a baby :)

speed said...

I don't know if you've mellowed down, but I see that you're writing more abt your current life now as opposed to only old memories..Either ways, you're still fun to read!

alpha said...

anumita: sure why not? how easy for you to say.:)

speed: i think i ran out of them. at one point you would.

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Aparna Menon said...

Babies can be Chooo adooorable...But suprisingly, that stops after 4 hours and 32 minutes...Thats when i'd like to hand them back to their mommies and strut off to my party :)

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GratisGab said...

hey lady, where's the maharaja's gift (with return reciept of course) ???????????????????????

you want gossip? i have some mild ones - R.S got divorced.

WA said...

Mummy, I feel left out now:(( Can I be included in this gossip too please. Considering that I don't seem to have a life beyond alpha's blog nowadays, please tell me if R.S comments here.

alpha said...

gabby, i dont trust you to hand it over to him saying aunty alpha gave it to you. hence i deliver gifts in person.:)

WA, dont feel left out. Even i dont know who RS is...unless she is talking of some hollywood star or me (which i believe is not true).

alpha said...

aparna: you have loads of patience i tell ya. 4 hours!!!

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