‘I am sticking my tongue into the pencil sharpener to come back with some sharp replies.’
‘I am highlighting myself in neon yellow so that people realise I am important.’
'I am stapling my lipstick to my lips so I don't have to retouch.'
‘I am swiveling in my chair real fast to see if centrifugal force can take me home instead of my car.’
‘I am punching holes in my nose so I can have more avenues to dig from.’
‘I am sticking a post-it note on my forehead that says- Is it lunch time yet? and am planning to sit all day in the lunch room looking for a nod from someone. ’
This is for people who call me at work and ask ‘What are you doing?’ I am working dammit! Even if I was stuffing my sore eyes with porn, there’s a fat chance that I would admit it. Now if you would excuse me for a bit…