Sunday, July 09, 2006

Better safe than sorry?

The worst part is you aren’t even allowed to make fun. Last time Pi went to a doctor was because he had a cold. The doctor, who was slightly shocked that there are patients who love to challenge him from time to time, simply stated that he needed to ride it out. Pi was distraught, ‘My wife said the same thing and it can’t be true. Could you please give me some medication other than Halls so that it looks like I had some sinister viral infection?’ So as a consolation, doc looked at his ear and removed some wax. Pi came back home a happy man (to know he wasn’t bidding adieu anytime soon) till he realized that my voice was loud and clear while I was trying to bask in my 'Itoldyou' moment. ‘Shhh. Softly softly. I think I need to see the doctor again. I need protection for my eardrums.’

This morning Pi decides that he needs to see a doctor... AGAIN. It’s an emergency he declared. Every time that happens I have a hard time keeping a straight face and feigning concern, ‘What’s the matter, Kutta?’ (Now Kutta doesn’t mean dog; it’s a male version of kutti (not bitch), discounting the fact that kutti means ‘little’ in Tamil.)

‘Breathlessness.’

‘Oh my god. That is a serious problem. Why didn’t you tell me before, you poor baby? Is it happening now?’ I sat on the edge of the sofa.

‘When I’m on a treadmill.’

The doctor's co-pay and the gym membership fees could have been used for logical things such as counseling for me. While Pi knows how to get to the hospital with his eyes closed, he had to introduce himself to the treadmill yesterday.

51 comments:

anantha said...

First, a Uh..ohh in anticipation of the comments!

Next, kutti a.k.a figure is Chennai lingo that refers to all the chamiya types. So, have the chamiya type people developed this male equivalent term (i.e. kutta) as a term of endearment? I have seen this term used in more than one occasion in the past couple of weeks.

GratisGab said...

oh my god...remember this??

http://gratisgab.blogspot.com/2005/04/move-over-sam-adams-horlicks-is-here.html

What IS with the mollycoddling of their healths I tell you!!!

GratisGab said...

"The worst part is you aren’t even allowed to make fun"

And this post is just about you sharing your pain with all of us :)

Anonymous said...

gabby:

i read the link (again) but had to stop (lol, rotfl, etc.) after the first comment!!! it might not have been germane then, but now - i have a funny feeling that maharaja might get malnourished!

- s.b.

Hehhhhhhhhhh said...

He runs after you ? You leave him breathless ? sigghhhhh.wotta luverly copple.
Am practically stuttering with emoshun.

BTW, I thought the Kutta came from mallu linkages.

alpha said...

anantha; I noticed other kuttis in my own friend's circle copying my edearment ideas! darnit..I should have stuck to gooeypoo.

gabby: I did recall your post..now that i go back to it...yikes @ my comment...gross visuals forming in mind..someone stop me!

s.b: stop me!!!

hehhh: I sit on the far end of the treadmill with a piece of gulab jamoon and he runs on the treadmill trying to reach it... yes, we all have our own methods of romance.

kuttan, maybe.

The ramblings of a shoe fiend said...

men and their 'i'm sooo sick. my head hurts. i feel like puking. call the doctor. i'm dyiiiiiing' yeah. it's called a hangover buddy.

and no this isn't personal experience and the doctor who charges rs.600 for a home visit was not roused out of bed early that sunday morning.

shub said...

I sit on the far end of the treadmill with a piece of gulab jamoon and he runs on the treadmill trying to reach it.
I'm trying to picture the scene!

Incredibly ingenious! :D
do you also song "tu hai meri gulab jamun?" (there's one called tu hai meri son-papdi :D)

sudha said...

anantha - now u sound like sth out of Parasakthi, someone shivaji and his cohorts would dearly address :P

bloghopper said...

You kutti (no not the bitch), first you shriek in his ears and now make him run (on the threadmill). Do you have no mercy ?

rads said...

hahahaha. Men :-)

Zoheb said...

ROTFL :D

anantha said...

Alpha: I went to that post from Gabby and had the same yike inducing visual. The imagery does make me gross out!

Sudha: Parasakthi? Why?

sudha said...

not just parasakthi, actually - remember "paadu, saantha, paadu"? all those heroine's names and friends/brothers of heros rhyme, and i keep getting this picture of sambhar/sivaji addressing u with their trademark "romantic" inflection :D :D :D

Anonymous said...

alpha:

ok, now i am really confused. you possess both the carrot (mouthwatering gulab jamun) and the stick (loud eardrum shattering like voice), and pi is definitely running - away or towards you - nobody knows.

i think he is similar to a rat stuck in what is a kingsize ferris wheel, as opposed to a treadmill. the thought is enough to leave me breathless!

raabert, ise liquid oxygen men daal do, yada yada yada ...

- s.b.

p.s.: of course, i cannot stop you. naa to main kaanoon hoon, aur naa to mere haath itne lambe hain. maybe you can pataofy gabby to delete your comment(s)!

anantha said...

Sudha: WHAT! Enna solla vara?

Rationale said...

Its the other way around for me. I have to drag him to the Doctor. But if its me thats sick, we're off at once!

Didnt think Pi was like this. Very surprising! :)

sudha said...

oi, no offense. thonuchu sonnein :(

alpha said...

shufy: that hangover episode... did it involve me in your place in Bombay?..all I remember is puking and eating some yummy brinjal sambar (in that order).

shubs: i think i'll go with tu hai mera coca cola..

bh: mercy and me? kabhi nahin...

rads and zo: *giggle* i know.

sudha, meet anti. anti, meet sudha.

sudha, we've met before?

sb: now u are also breathless. sheesh, all these doctors no wonder are so rich...you men! and deleting my comments is blasphemy!

rationale: tsk tsk..you better take care of my baby brother..is he alright? take him to the doc if he sneezes ok! He'll refuse, but force him. *worried*

sudha: no offence taken

Patrix said...

I'm having a hard time imagining you and Pi calling each other Kutta and Kutti :)

Why are all the swear words in Hindi used for endearments or other harsher constructs in Tamil? Or is it vice-versa?

shark said...

Here's a trick. whenever you can find a chance.. ask him to go to the doctor.
Now, once you start saying that way.. he will definitely not heed to you...and leave the poor doctor alone..;-)

Anonymous said...

personalized based on a joke read long ago...

alpha: "patrix, tamil terimaa?"

patrix: "abe #%#%^, marathi tuza baba!"

- s.b.

bloghopper said...

LOL @ the joke :)

sudha said...

nah jus a silent reader, i dig ur blog a lot, jus discovered ur blogdrive archives last week when i was sick and away from work.

i saw anti's name change and did a double take, tats all. i have an incurable inclination to conjure up the weirdest of images with very little provokataion :(. i hope he doesnt get offended.

sudha said...

aargh .. provocation, not provokation

Rationale said...

Hmmph! He's doing fine. You dont worry about me? (Fine MIL you will bcome!) :(

LEGOLAS said...

Coming back here after many days. But the blog is as delightfull as ever. Expecially the football match, beer and a nagging wife (parent in my case)

Anonymous said...

rationale: first m then mil. kutti steps please! [see how fast me is learning tamizh]

sudha: once the first step referred to above happens, anti will become uncle :-). "just you wait"! [alpha, does this remind you of another of the doordarshan serials, or are you much younger than that?]

legolas: most truths are universal. how one pens/types/describes it is crucial - and alpha is doing a great, of course :-) [except when she slips in the obnoxious bihari babu once in a while].

- s.b.

Anonymous said...

k.n.n.murthy: rotfl!! [http://tinyurl.com/hcbmr]

- s.b.

Hardu said...

Poor Pi. My sympathies with Pi. He does not even know what it means to fall sick. He probably likes medicine and so insists on going to the doc or perhaps he does not want to complete the last chapter of his thesis and hence is making excuses? ;)

wittsend said...

Aha!! the scene is just setting itself up for my entry... :-)
I am here na ~ will not charge you a penny for any counseling!!
You are not realizing the importance of me in your life at this point in time but eventually you will come around!!
:-)
take care!!

alpha said...

Patty: We call others kutta kutti too (this time, we switch to hindi)
Patty means old hag in Tamil...just in case you weren't aware.

Shark; such exciting theories you come up with..was almost waiting for one that involved apples to keep the doctor away.

sudha: see, if u had told me that you dig my blog, i wouldn't have concluded that you were anti's stalker. Well, thanks...and anti doesn't get offended (i have desperately tried) ..half the time he never even gets it.

s.b: You are freaking me out man! Sudha stalking Anti on my blog is still acceptable in some twisted level...but you ROTFLing at some Murthy guy (writing something somewhere) is BEYOND my understanding shakti. You wanting to make me a mom is totally outta control. I think zoheb's math problems have some lasting effects on your psyche.

legolas: thanks and seriously if u are comparing your parents to your future wife..you have NO idea buddy.

hardu: might be very well the case. mmm...

wittsend: Awesome. This blog has helped me save so much money. Will you make me sit on a couch?

anantha said...

Alpha: Patty also refers (in Mallu) to the same thing Patty refers to when he refers to the Hindi swear word. Mebbe you can take Mallu lessons from Rationale. And oh, you still need to brush up your Tam. And get small cycle gap, you sail Titanic by making poor Sudha a stalker!

half the time he never even gets it

Have you ever thought about the fact that I could just be ignoring your "digs"? Better things to worry about in life than the fact that you tried to set me up with a guy! I don't worry about problems. I worry about solutions ;)

s.b: You the cycle gap man too. One small gap you pulling my leg with that forgotten joke! :p
Btw, that murthy guy was HILARIOUS! But more hilarious was the jobless ppl fighting about left and right!

Sudha: Idhu unnaku thevaiya? You should have stuck to being the silent reader. By showing up here, you have just let yourself be pulled into this madness. Escape while you can. But pliss, before you go, elaborate on the whole Sambhar, Sivaji funda. Unless, never mind, just explain!

Chenthil said...

Anti, shame on you to not understand such important cultural references.

1. In the movie Paasamlar, Sivaji Ganesan will tell Gemini Ganesan (Sambar), his brother in law in that movie - "Anandha, en kannaiye unkitta oppadaikkiren"

2. In Konjum Salangai movie, Gemini Ganesan (Sambar again) - will tell his love, Savithri "Paadu Saanthaa Paadu, Un isai ennum inba vellathil moolgha Odoodi vandhen"

What Sudha is telling is your new nick Anantha reminds her of Sambar / Savithri and she is imagining them crooning to you "Ananthaa" (not a great visual though)

anantha said...

Chenthil: I figured this was something like this, but my question really was was I the Sambhar man? Or Sivaji? Oh please, definitely not Savithri? And btw, its not a nick. That's my name! Really!

alpha said...

anti: so now u are changing your name to savithri?

Anonymous said...

anti/tbfkaa/anantha: poor you, getting nicked left and right by your own name!

btw, i totally forgot what the murthy guy wrote, and i cannot go to that site at work. will need to go home and re-read.

alpha: please teach this guy the gap acceptance theory...

someone should teach these terrorists that instead of holy virgins in jannat they will fry in the burning hot oil awaiting them in jahannum. and all the zamzam they drink, all their mullahs and all their moolahs will not save them.

- s.b.

p.s.: that i failed at zo's math problems has nothing to do with this comment, really.

alpha said...

I want zamzam.

sudha said...

thank you, chenthil :)

anti: i think i found the savithri visual only more striking.

imagine gay romance with 50's/60's dialogues and cast. and like i said before, no offense, please. i think its just my screwed up thinking and not your name.

and alpha ji, "I am no stalker" :P

alpha said...

aaaggh, u are using his punchline too...ok that was superman. anyway, welcome and glad u decided to break your mauna vratam.

sudha said...

ayyo, no mauna vratam et al..

WA said...

aNTi ippo unna paatha enakke paavamaa irukku. Wonder how many more names you are gonna gather along the way. If I were you I would have risked being called aNTi uncle instead of being called Savithri as you are now. tsk tsk paavam.

Anonymous said...

wa: or he can change his name to ananthanaama! even vishnu would sulk seeing anti with so many names.

shri anti anti anti iti
rame anti manolphe!

- s.b.

alpha said...

savi1 savi2 savi3...at least you wont be called Anti, you'll be called Aunty.

Who's hiding my zamzam?!

anantha said...

Alpha: Juvenile joke, as usual. Whats next - One-Eli, Rend-Eli, Moon-Eli, Naal-Eli and Anj-Eli? :p You zamzam was last seen in that kasaapu kadi in Zam Bazar.

s.b : Et Tu s.b? These women are cursed. Save yourself.

WA: Yekka, vendam! Appram if I start, you will throw a fit and become angry :D

Anonymous said...

anantha:

ok, i will try to stay away from them :-). btw, next will probably be '... gamma, beta, alpha.'

- s.b.

WA said...

Thambhi as long as you don't say that one word I won't throw a fit :P

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